The name is Taylor and being a high school graduate is my game. I don't have anything planned for my future but for now I'm going to take one step at a time and wing it. I'd like to think of myself as a bit of a romantic, but only for the best, cutest, most perfect boyfriend, Taylor (yeah we kind of share the same name). Sick Puppies and Panic! at the Disco are the baes while I'm cheating on them with Kuroshitsuji and quite possibly Homestuck, and of course Pokemon. I am a major asshole but I'd give an arm and a leg for the wonderful people in my life such as the handsome Taylor, the beautiful Sammy, the adorable Emma, the bearded Jaime, the sweet Morgan, and the bitchin' Brian. Also buffalo = cute.
Wow, it must really burn you up inside that a fat girl is not only having good sex but is also loved and appreciated.
Now normally I would say, “Don’t worry, anon, there is someone out there for you too.” But who am kidding? No one wants to date person who has nothing better to do than waste their time sending hate to random strangers on the internet and who knows so little about the human body and about sexual intercourse that they can’t figure out how someone who is fat can have sex.
Sorry anon, your life is garbage. I hope you like fucking your hand.
God I really didn’t want to do this one.
Well, hey. I’ve known you for at least four years now thanks to Freshman year Spanish class. Man, do you remember that? That was the best but only because you almost failed because of me. Ah, good times. So I guess in a way you stole my attention the first day of the year. Sitting there, you looked so quiet and beautiful and I was determined to meet you and get to know you. And thanks to the coincidence of my boyfriend at the moment being the brother of your best friend at the moment, I got that chance. And man was I glad about how much we tortured each other after that. I mean yeah I kind of hated it a good amount but we got a really good friendship out of it. Then came the fun part where we started dating near the end of Sophomore year. Never had I fallen for someone so hard or felt such strong emotions for anyone before I met you. Which is why even after six or so months of dating you, I still couldn’t believe that we were actually a thing. That we were really together, seeing how it was always just a figment of my imagination and I assumed you would never return the feelings I held. But I was wrong. You swept me off of my feet and I had never felt happier in my life. But then things took a turn for the worst near the middle/end of Junior year. You had enough and left me. I couldn’t blame you but it took me eight long months to even come close to moving off of you. I tried hating you and surrounding myself with other guys and finding things that filled the hole. Then Senior year started. Music theory was one of the only classes I couldn’t stand but you were in it, and we were forced to be around each other again. We became friends and were going smoothly with that until that one day. That one day out of nowhere, where you told me how you felt. That you felt guilty and sorry for putting me through what you did, and how stupid of a decision it was, and how much you regretted it. You didn’t understand why I could still talk to you. But I promised myself that I wouldn’t let you go completely. And I never did. Even to the day I braced myself and gave you a stupid Pokemon pick-up line the night of an orientation at school and waited nervously for the rejection the next morning. Before second period you called my name though I didn’t hear it, and you threw a note on my desk and boy was I nervous to open it. But I did. You were late to school because of it; it was Pokedex numbers to certain Pokemon where I needed to use the first letter of the Pokemon provided. After decoding, it spelled out “YES, so, DATE ME?” I failed my test that day, but of course I said yes. I was so afraid of trusting you again and it took forever to give it to you, but I never regretted doing so. You made me feel like the best person in the world, and I only wanted to do the same back to you. And that’s what I’ve been doing.
Starting from today, here’s what I have to say to you: Your words have meant nothing but bliss to me, and I feel like I could never deserve them. I am one lonely, depressed, worried, overbearing piece of crap, but somehow you deal with me and are there for me as often as you can be. Sure you upset me a lot, are the reason my emotions get out of hand, say things you don’t mean to, make me feel invisible, and act terribly childish and irresponsible, I cannot express how perfect I still find you past all of those flaws. And I know I have them too. From your birthday party, to mine, the gifts we get one another (mostly me to you because you know how I am), to the most amazing night I’ve ever had that was prom, to defending me against the people who have damaged me a lot in the past, to just always being my best friend, I have so many fond memories and reasons to show how much I love you. I recently told you how a while ago I was unsure about us and the future we were planning here and there, and even now I’m not so sure if I’m ready to call this sealed and eventually move in with you and all of that future stuff I don’t want to get into. But I’ll tell you this much. Ninety-five percent of the time, you make me want nothing but you in the future. The stuff before the previous sentence? Five percent. I don’t plan on ever giving up on you. I plan on anticipating the nights we have together cuddling one another to sleep, greeting each other when we get home from work, making meals for each other… And more importantly, getting past the barrier of the dating length we reached last time. This is our second shot to make it and I’m thankful we were able to get it. We have a long road ahead of us through having jobs, you going to college, and just the normal struggles that we are going to have, but I don’t have a doubt that we aren’t strong enough to make it. And things can happen, but I’m not going to let you give up. I’m not going to give up. I appreciate you way more than I display sometimes. We’ll make all of our dreams come true. Just remind yourself that no matter what, I love you, stupid. I always have and I always will. And to top it off, a big happy ten months 2.0, Osito<3
Please, please, please for the love of god do not screw up. Don’t give up. Don’t do anything you would regret now or regret later in life. I haven’t given you much to work with or anything to feel good about, but you and I need to have a serious talk. You cannot let your depression get out of hand. You can not let any of your friends feel less than what they are. You cannot ever lose contact with your family. You cannot lose the most important man in your life. Most importantly, you cannot lose you. It’ll take some time but you will figure these things out that you do not know. That’s okay if it’s not right away, but you’ll be really glad you did. Grasp the passions you find out about and go somewhere with them because let me tell you, you are all about trying and being determined. Go for being a baker, go pick up a camera and give the world something to feel emotions for, go get like fifty dogs to take care of from a shelter, it doesn’t matter to me as long as you enjoy life. Grab it by the horns and goddammit find out what happiness is and what/who makes you feel it. You’re going to fail but hopefully not horribly. I believe in you.
You are an idiot. You have been making mistake since you were at least thirteen, that’s about four, almost five years you’ve wasted of your life. Why the hell have you screwed up so badly? But I guess you aren’t COMPLETELY worthless. You currently have some great people in your life. I’m upset with the things you did and the people you associated yourself with. Hella glad you didn’t do drugs or drink, though, that’s something so I’m proud of you for that. You could have been a lot nicer to the friends you had in elementary and middle school, that’s for sure. But you changed rather well in high school aside from that day you cut yourself pretty bad in the bathroom stall and scared people away. Don’t ever do that again because now you have a scar that you look at everyday to remind you. But kudos for getting me here.
To Sammy/my babygirl: I love you, you know that? I’ve said this multiple times to you that we haven’t known each other for long, but it feels like forever. We are the same person, practically, and sometimes even I get us two mixed up, haha. You’re a few years older than me and that’s okay, but I got to watch you grow in the little time we met. I’m so proud of you for graduating high school, being strong against all the things you’ve been put through, and making a name for yourself. I don’t even have the strength to go to college. That sucks, but you do, and I am so glad you’re happy with your choice. So maybe we go weeks without seeing each other but we always pick back up with one another and make some of the best memories I could have. Life might take us away from each other, but I know we’ll find a way to work around that and continue being how we are now. You’re going to go far in life and I just want to thank you so much for helping me get where I am because I’m not so sure I would have been able to do it without you.
To Emma/Emmer/Lilpikachu/CUTIE PATOOTIE: Where do I begin I am so glad we’re taking driving school together I would die of absolute boredom if I didn’t have you there and no one to drag to Rite Aid with me seriously I would probably die. I still might die though but only from falling asleep in class. This sounds like rambling. We have a great history of sports together andand we became really close friends in my last year of high school which, might I add, sucks because I graduated and you still have a year left, but nonetheless we’ve made up for that so far and I don’t see why we won’t consistently do just that. I feel really awkward half of the time around you because I’m not really used to having two best friends or really having anyone like you in my life. Hopefully that all goes away because I wouldn’t be me or really have anyone to go to if you weren’t around. I feel like in some way I’ve corrupted you to embrace your inner feelings/mean side but at the same time you make me feel guilty when I use foul language in our texts so that’s a good bonus, getting me out of bad habits and such, which I really do appreciate it believe it or not. We’re going to travel eeeeverywhere together, well only to the places you only want to take Jaime to c: Much & lots of love, girl.